This question was closed without grading. Reason: Answer found elsewhere
Feb 7, 2019 18:17
5 yrs ago
Portuguese term
United States
BA in Transl., MA in ESL, 15 yrs of exp.
Native in: Portuguese 
Works in: English to Portuguese, Portuguese to English, Spanish to Portuguese, and 2 more.
Meus pensamentos de mágoa
Portuguese to English
Art/Literary
Poetry & Literature
Fernando Pessoa
My difficulty is in how to translate this line to rhyme with the last one. For the last line I have "Of the dead body of the waters". For "mágoa" I thought of sorrow, unhappiness, grief, sadness, etc, but none of them rhymes. :-)
"Boiam leves, desatentos,
Meus pensamentos de mágoa
Como, no sono dos ventos,
As algas, cabelos lentos
Do corpo morto das águas."
-- Fernando Pessoa
"Boiam leves, desatentos,
Meus pensamentos de mágoa
Como, no sono dos ventos,
As algas, cabelos lentos
Do corpo morto das águas."
-- Fernando Pessoa
Proposed translations
(English)
| 4 | My thoughts of woe |
Uvierode Woglo
|
| 4 | my hurt feelings |
airmailrpl
|
Proposed translations
2 hrs
Uvierode Woglo
Brazil
Brazil
Native in English
Works in field
Brazil
Portuguese/Spanish - English Translator
Native in: English
Works in: Portuguese to English, Spanish to English
Related KudoZ points
:
8
My thoughts of woe
I could not find any world to rhyme exactly with 'waters' so this is my suggestion, considering at least the effect of alliteration since both words start with the letter W.
Peer comment(s):
| neutral |
airmailrpl
: It really is considered discourteous according to the Kudoz etiquette to post a suggestion and then post a disagree on another's suggestion
5 days
|
20 hrs
airmailrpl
Brazil
Brazil
Native in Portuguese
&
English
Works in field
Brazil
Technical - Fast - good price - accurate
Native in: English (Variant: US) 
, Portuguese (Variant: Brazilian)
Works in: English to Portuguese, Portuguese to English, English, and 1 more.
Related KudoZ points
:
68
my hurt feelings
Meus pensamentos de mágoa => my hurt feelings
Peer comment(s):
| agree |
Clauwolf
2 hrs
|
|
agradeço
|
|
| disagree |
Uvierode Woglo
: He is talking about his thoughts and not his feelings... it would sound weird for his feelings to be floating as mentioned in the first line...
There's structure to poetry, so when you say 'anything goes', it shows you don't know much about it.
3 hrs
|
|
it is a poem - so anything goes - It really is considered discourteous according to the Kudoz etiquette to post a suggestion and then post a disagree on another's suggestion
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Discussion